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anneliesgeraets

transformative coach & mediator

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

SOCRATES

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.

LAO TZU

SEPARATION

Along with death, divorce is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through. It is accompanied by major losses: dreams go up in smoke, you lose your partner and his/her friends and family members, you may have to change your lifestyle because you have fewer resources, being a parent suddenly becomes more complicated, etc. For children too, divorce is a major event that leaves a lasting mark on their lives.

However, as opposed to a death, someone going through a divorce does not necessarily experience the same kind of social support. It is important, though, that each person is given the space to process this trauma at their own pace and with the best possible support. I would like to be of such support and have therefore specialised in divorce counseling for children and adults. With my book "One Heart, Two Houses" I have created a guide to support parents who are separating. Currently, the book is available only in Dutch but I'm working on an English version.

You can also come and see me (in person or online) with all your questions and concerns before, during and after the divorce. Family or partner meetings in my practice are also an option. In this way, for example, a divorce notification can take place on neutral ground and with professional support.

from me, to you:

a video and all of my publications, free to download

Above you will find the video 'from ex-partners to co-parents, relay races for the advanced'.

- The video is currently only available in Dutch and with Dutch subtitles. I'm working on English subtitles.-

The many responses and feedback have helped me make some improvements to the video: the final result is a little shorter than the original version, gender neutral and the tips have been given extra attention. One comment in particular has really stuck with me: that of a rejected parent who wondered what difference a video like this could make.... That's a legitimate question.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that it can at least contribute to separating and separated parents (and all the professionals who come into contact with them) better comprehending how important it is for a child to (be allowed to) have a meaningful relationship with both parents. That this understanding becomes second nature to each and everyone of us and that all noses are pointed in the same direction. That parents who find it difficult to separate ex-partnership from co-parenting, or for whom it is not easy to pass on or take on the baton, find the necessary support and understanding and that together we can prevent that children, out of necessity but against their nature, choose to reject a parent to make their lives more bearable...

 

Please feel free to share with people who you think might benefit. I realise it takes some time to watch the video, but maybe the happiness of a child (and their parents) is worth it?
 

 

Below you can find all my publications related to divorce.

 

- The book and publications are currently only available in Dutch. I'm working on English translations. -

 

My main work is the book 'One Heart, Two Houses'. From the start I have chosen to make this book available to everyone free of charge so that as many parents and children as possible could make use of it. That's why you won't find the book in bookstores, but you can read it online through Issuu's free services. You have to deal with the advertising though ;-) Initially it was possible to order the book from me but that's no longer practically feasible. For those who still like to have a paper version, there is the download version that you can print yourself. You can also find (and download) the complete content of the book in the other publications.

In the series 'researched' you will find out what we can learn from scientific research with regard to the different aspects of divorce. In the series 'Separation Identity Kits' you get to know your child's world and learn how he/she can experience a divorce at his/her age. You'll get age-tailored tips to make this profound event easier on your child. Finally, in the series of 'divorce tips', you'll find tips for parents to promote the well-being of their children during and after divorce.

 

I would like to encourage you to read, download, print, share, etc. as much of the information in the book and in the sheets as possible so that as many parents and children as possible can benefit!

Annelies Geraets, Eén hart, twee huizen, wat (ge)scheiden(de) ouders kunnen doen voor het welzijn van hun kind
Annelies Geraets, De rol van geslacht, temperament, leeftijd en coping van het kind bij een scheiding, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, Ouderlijke conflicten voor, tijdens en na een scheiding: wat zijn de gevolgen voor kinderen, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, hoe pak jij het (co-)ouderschap aan en welke invloed heeft dat op het welbevinden van je kind, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
welke gevolgen kan een scheiding hebben voor kinderen, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets (wanneer) is een verblijfs-co ouderschap goed voor je kind, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, hoe belangrijk is het om rekening te houden met de leeftijd van je kind bij het uitwerken van een verblijfsregeling, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, op zoek naar een geschikte verblijfsregeling: wat speelt mee? wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, voorbeelden van verblijfsregelingen en hun voor- en nadelen,wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, wat hoort er, naast een basisregeling, nog thuis in een goede verblijfsregeling, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, sche-identikit, kinderen van nul tot twee jaar en scheiding, baby's en scheiding, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
sche-identikit, kinderen van twee tot vier jaar en scheiding, peuters en scheiding, wetenschappelijk onderzoe
Annelies Geraets, sche-identikit, kinderen van vier tot zes jaar en scheiding, kleuters en scheiding, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, sche-identikit, kinderen van zes tot twaalf jaar en scheiding, schoolgaande kinderen en scheiding, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, sche-identikit, kinderen van twaalf tot achttien jaar en scheiding, pubers en adolescenten en scheiding, wetenschappelijk onderzoek
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, wees altijd bereid tot het voeren van een eerlijk gesprek
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, kinderen hebben recht op een degelijke scheidingsmelding
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, vermijd openlijke conflicten na de scheiding
Annelies Geraets, Maak een duurzaam ouderschapsplan en houd daarbij in de mate van het mogelijke rekening met de behoeften van je kind(eren)
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, bied je kind orde en structuur
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, een kind kan niet kiezen
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, toon respect voor de andere ouder van je kind(eren)
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, vermijd (openlijke) conflicten na de scheiding
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, ga op zoek naar hulpbronnen voor jezelf
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, geef je kind wat ademruimte
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, zoek hulpbronnen voor je kind
Annelies Geraets, tips bij scheiding, nieuwe partner, nieuw geluk, plusouder, pluskind

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

If you need a listening ear, support or advice, contact me today to schedule an appointment.

PUBLICATIONS

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

C.S. LEWIS

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